You’ve likely heard that hymn, right?

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

I’m thinking about it today because there has been some growing upheaval in my world and I’m trying to negotiate it all.  It isn’t that my faith is being tested really, which is why this hymn’s appropriate, my solid rock is firm, it’s just that, unfortunately the sweetest frame of my church and church leaders has had my trust in it rather badly dented and, quite frankly, it has me quietly withdrawing from much that goes on there, and even occasionally going elsewhere to worship.

Can you imagine the internal conflict that goes with that?  It challenges all sorts of beliefs and paradigms I’ve had be those before coming to Sydney or after, and while I’m not in any way dragging down the church as a whole, or even really the genuine intentions of the leadership, but it has become increasingly challenging for me to have knowledge of what goes on behind closed doors which causes me to lose my trust in that which I hear from the pulpit.  (Now, as I’m aware that there are those of you who actually know the congregation of which I speak, I want to categorically state that I’m in no way making accusation of any kind of scandalous impropriety in any of the leaders etc.)

In broad strokes, the area in which I’m finding the most conflict is this.  We are an apostolic church with a vision to influence the city we’re in (and by extension the world) for Christ.  We want for people to see the great change in their personal worlds, to give them the opportunity to meet Christ and find his plan/path/vision for their life and to see their lives radically changed with the peace, love, and hope that comes with faith in God.  Sounds good, right?

They’re all noble goals, to be sure, and I believe them to be good and great and possible but I’m getting increasingly wary of following a massive vision handed down by a leader and the posse of people gathered up behind him.  I’m cautious about only hearing the voice of Christ through one man’s vision, I’m questioning the ethos behind the vision becoming more important than the people who are passionate about bringing it about and who’ve given time, energy, money and in some cases their lives, to the service of God through that vision only to be discarded when the vision became about the next generation.

We’re undergoing change, we’re a huge ship being steered into a new course, a new younger, hipper, course and in that process a whole bunch of sterling individuals have found themselves surplus to requirement.  The means for effecting this change has been, to put it baldly, pitifully managed.  It seems to me that I’m seeing a culture develop where people are disposable and when I’m hearing things to cover those injustices, that sound like “it’s not comfortable, but I believe that “Ps _____” hears from God so we’ll go with it” I get all KINDS of itchy.  Yes, I’m sure he hears from God, but I do too. So do you, but to put one’s head up above the parapet to voice any contrary thought or idea is to have the leadership lose faith in you and to fall out of favour and to find yourself leaving the in-crowd for the fringe.

I love the leaders here, I have been loved by the leaders here but I fear that love to be conditional upon my wholehearted support of where we’re going and how we get there and I cannot give it.

And this breaks my heart.

New Post up at http://www.deeleea.com/blog

Deception from Deeleea on Vimeo.

I was initially reluctant to take the Remixable Media class, it sounded in its blurb like a movie review class.  I was pleasantly surprised to find it a bit more than that… this is my major assessment, a remix video.

I’m a bit proud of it and while it’s a little over 5mins long, I hope you’ll watch to the end!!

One of my uni subjects is a Web Dev/Flash Dev subject and one of the assignments was to create a website.

This is the website I created.

http://www.thatphotographerchick.com

And yes, it’s all about me.

New Post up at

http://www.singularscene.com

New Post up over at the other place.  Translating Geek Speak.

http://www.singularscene.com

I’ve been thinking a bit about definition.  What it is we use to define ourselves.  It has sprung to mind because in my twitter journeying (www.twitter.com/deeleea if you want to play along) I often pop through someone’s tweets to read their short bio and get a bit of a feel for who they are. When you do this you see how people sum themselves up in 140 characters or less.

Here’s mine,

Blogger, Photographer, Movable Type Enthusiast, Jazz Singer, Choir Director, Student of Life, Student of the Digital (USYD), Proud Sydneysider and Proud Kiwi.

The list is hierarchical, and would be in a different order for a different audience, but as my readers/tweeps are often technologically bent I start with the one that’s going to grab them first. Well, a little bit… I mean, everyone’s a blogger these days, and quite frankly seems like everyone’s a photographer too… but I digress…

What’s interesting to me is to see how many people put Christian in their Bio, and, put it first.  I see this and think that  Christian is a definition they have of themselves, just as some people’s primary definition of themselves is Gay, another’s is Parent, other’s still is Dog Person or Holden Driver.  We define ourselves not just according to what we believe, who we believe in or what we believe about ourselves, but the definition represents a wider community of like minded people and we define ourselves in relation to them as well.

And so, as I clearly am, a Christian, by my own confession and evidenced by the communities I belong to, both here on the Wibsite and in my membership of my church, in my circle of friends, and until recently in my workplace,  you may feel inclined to as ask why I haven’t included that fact in my bio (on twitter or on my blog).

In part, because there’s a stigma about that word - Christian - that like it or not comes with a sense of,  “one of THOSE” and it seems to have connected with it an expectation that I’m going to be narrow minded and bigoted. I am neither, as far as I know, and so I prefer the matter of my faith to be unveiled in conversation gradually rather than paraded as a badge I wear.  I think this gives people the opportunity to like and appreciate me for me rather than have a pre-conceived idea of how I’ll behave, react, or of what I’ll say.

I suspect too there’s an element of caution in putting Christian on my Twitter bio because it will invite many of the kinds of Christian followers whose tweets I’d be slightly embarrassed to have appear in my timeline.  You know the kind, right?  the ““HALLELUJAH for the Lord He reigns” no matter how crazy this culture and this world becomes!!! I’ve got VICTORY in Jesus!!!” kind of tweets.

It’s easy enough to figure out from who I follow that I’m a Christian… @god, @judasmith @donmilleris, @erwinmcmanus, @philpringle  and a large number of members of my church, some of whom do tweet in the above vernacular.  But by and large, for me? I keep it sub-rosa until such a time as it’s not going to make ridiculous waves or freak people out.

The thing is, is this a good thing?

(Please Discuss)

Dos - (with pictures!)

Uno on Uni

http://www.deeleea.com/blog

To my oldest and dearest friend,

It’s how we operate isn’t it?  Weeks, months even without a proper catch up, hanging out in the same places but not quite connecting.

My fault.

I heard you call out to me today.  An echo in someone else’s words, the heartfelt sentiment “May you see yourself as I see you” and I remember you telling me the very same thing some distant time in the past.  I think I almost felt you right behind me, close enough to lean my head back on your shoulder, feel your breath on my cheek,  and all at once I remembered that your very great love for me won’t fail.

The glass I feel I’m walking on won’t break.